Today, March 7, 2022, is the 10th anniversary of my bipolar diagnosis. In some ways it seems like it was only yesterday that I heard the words proclaiming the nature of my “nonconformity”, but in others I feel like I’ve lived the longer part of my life with it. As indeed I have; I wasContinue reading “Ten Years”
Tag Archives: bipolar
Mixed Features
Well, it’s finally happened—I’m in the middle of a good old-fashioned mixed bipolar phase. I’ve been anxious and irritable for weeks, then depression and agitation joined the merry mix about a fortnight ago. The fact that I am currently unstable disappoints the hell out of me…I’d been doing so well for so long that IContinue reading “Mixed Features”
Good-bye, Dr. Goodenough
Yes, you read that right—I am now between psychiatrists. Dear Dr. G. did exactly what I’ve been dreading since I first saw him four years ago, and retired. My last telephone visit was on Tuesday and I’m already missing him, even though I was never as close to him as I was with Dr. Awesomesauce.Continue reading “Good-bye, Dr. Goodenough”
Spinning Out
Don’t worry, I’m not personally spinning out, that’s the title of a TV show about an ice skater who just happens to be bipolar. I ran across a Facebook review of the show, which lasted only one season, and so on to Netflix I went. After some time searching for it, I settled down toContinue reading “Spinning Out”
Behind The Mask
I made it through the anniversary. In fact, I was pretty much OK with it. When I lit Will’s candle and said a prayer over him, I didn’t even cry—all I felt was peace. I looked over at the chair he used to occupy and remembered what he looked like relaxing in it, watching TVContinue reading “Behind The Mask”
A Day In the Life
And now, a few words about cognitive dysfunction. Or, as I call it, bipolar brain-fade. It’s like my mind is swallowed up by the mist engulfing all my neurons and synapses. It’s there, to be sure, because I couldn’t function even as well as I do if I didn’t have SOMETHING going for me upstairs.Continue reading “A Day In the Life”
The Seven-Year Itch
Well, here we are…the seven-year anniversary of my first bipolar diagnosis. I remember it as if it was yesterday: the long questioning session with Dr. Awesomesauce, the many reasons he cited as to why I might not be bipolar, and then the surprising diagnosis of bipolar NOS. In retrospect he might have given it toContinue reading “The Seven-Year Itch”
The Winter Blues
Well, now that I’ve landed safely on the other side of 60, it’s time for the winter blues to hit, and they have. The mantle of depression has settled softly on my shoulders like a dusting of snow, and I find myself alternately wistful and sad, and determined not to let it get in theContinue reading “The Winter Blues”
Just So You Know…
…you can’t reason with someone who is manic. I mean, you can sit there with them and try to rationalize everything, but they don’t know they’re being irrational. They’re sick and have absolutely NO idea they are; in fact, they’ll deny it to the death and become highly offended that you’ve even dared to suggestContinue reading “Just So You Know…”
Curiouser and Curiouser
This spring just gets weirder. I am struggling mightily to stay on my medication and sleep schedules, I feel all racy and overstimulated inside, and NONE of it shows on the surface. Not even my family can tell how scrambled my brains are. In the past, I might have called this a mixed episode, thoughContinue reading “Curiouser and Curiouser”
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