Still Another Trip Around the Sun

My 58th birthday has come and gone, and it was a good day despite missing Will acutely. I got to go out to dinner with the family, and they made me a cake that they didn’t set on fire this time. I heard from all of my kids as well as my sister, who callsContinue reading “Still Another Trip Around the Sun”

Between “Blah” and “Yee-HAW!!”

This mild mixed episode has got to go. It’s not anything I can’t stand. It’s not at all like those horrendous mixed moods I have every now and again that make me crazier than a shit-house rat. This is just a generalized weirdness where bouncy and amused alternates with down and irritable, and I’m sick to death of it. IContinue reading “Between “Blah” and “Yee-HAW!!””

Oops, I Did It Again

Well, the deed has been done. I signed the attorney papers and mailed them out this morning. I know I must’ve come across as whiny and wishy-washy during the past couple of weeks, and I’m sorry about that. Yesterday a friend of mine suggested—in so many words—that I really needed to shit or get offContinue reading “Oops, I Did It Again”

The Post-Game Wrap-Up

Ahhh…….this is more like it. More predictable. More comprehensible. More me. A full week has passed since my brain’s transmission shifted into Drive, and I couldn’t be happier. I didn’t realize how bad things really were until the past couple of days; was it really only three weeks ago that I was desperate to run away? And why,Continue reading “The Post-Game Wrap-Up”

What A Difference (A Day Makes)

And, just like that……I’m okay again. A week-and-a-half ago, I was boarding the crazy train. Four days ago, I was ready to dive out a tenth-floor window. Two days ago, I complained to Will because I felt so flattened emotionally. Then yesterday was just awful, as it was a day of mourning and what would have beenContinue reading “What A Difference (A Day Makes)”

Better Living Through Chemistry, Part 2

Ahhh……48 hours on Zyprexa, and I feel like a new woman. Today was the best day I’ve had in weeks. I slept well again, wasn’t nearly as bombed-out as I was yesterday morning, had no trouble staying awake at work—even doing nothing but bookwork—and drove home without screaming profanities at other drivers. I’m calm andContinue reading “Better Living Through Chemistry, Part 2”

Oh What A Relief It Is

……to have a doctor who puts the “care” in healthcare. And to know that this hellish feeling will more than likely be gone soon. After fighting these damnable mood swings for the past several weeks, I finally put my pride in my back pocket and called Dr. A’s office this afternoon. I knew with his abbreviatedContinue reading “Oh What A Relief It Is”

I Don’t Go Crazy, I AM Crazy. I Just Go Normal From Time to Time.

That’s what a lot of life is about, anyway. I figured it out on my way home from work. It’s all about appearances: you can be having the most horrid thoughts imaginable, walking around thinking “oh my God, I SUCK”, and yet nobody sees what goes on behind your eyes. All they see is another human being,Continue reading “I Don’t Go Crazy, I AM Crazy. I Just Go Normal From Time to Time.”