Note To Self…

…Never feel so great that you think you can skip your nighttime meds and not suffer the consequences. Yes, I was “up” last week. Yes, it made me want to try going without meds to see what it would be like. And yes, I was awake all night long and felt like I was going to freak the righteous hellContinue reading “Note To Self…”

Surviving Bipolar

It’s been several months now since my brain last attempted to murder me, and with the passage of time the harsh lines that defined that episode and the resulting hospitalization have blurred somewhat. Now I look back and wonder how I could have even THOUGHT about suicide, let alone planned it…..only the method, and whetherContinue reading “Surviving Bipolar”

Out Of The Blue

I promised you a few posts ago that I’d write one about mood episodes that come out of nowhere, and since I really don’t have a lot to talk about today, here it is. I call them “sneaker waves”—mania or depression that has no identifiable trigger, but which slaps me flat and knocks the wind right out of me.Continue reading “Out Of The Blue”

Trigger-Happy

And now for your edification, here is a discussion about what psychiatry calls “triggers”. For those not in the know, triggers are events, thoughts, emotions etc. that cause or contribute to the development of mood episodes. Sometimes episodes come out of nowhere, and in my experience those are harder to deal with because I don’t knowContinue reading “Trigger-Happy”

Beware The Ides of March

It’s taken a long time, but I’ve finally come to see the seasonal pattern of my mood swings in its full spectrum. I’ve always gotten depressed in the winter, and in recent years I’ve come to expect that mania will visit at least once during the summer and early fall. And now, thanks to an unusual flash of insight, I justContinue reading “Beware The Ides of March”

Stinkin’ Thinkin’

No, no, no, don’t worry, I haven’t done—nor am I about to do—anything crazy. But I’ve got to admit that I have an interesting thought process going on that’s quite seductive…..even though I know it’s 99% bullshit. Hence I call it “stinkin’ thinkin’”. I continue to be amazed by the way a sleep schedule and some motivation seem to have clearedContinue reading “Stinkin’ Thinkin’”