Well, it’s finally happened—I’m in the middle of a good old-fashioned mixed bipolar phase. I’ve been anxious and irritable for weeks, then depression and agitation joined the merry mix about a fortnight ago. The fact that I am currently unstable disappoints the hell out of me…I’d been doing so well for so long that IContinue reading “Mixed Features”
Tag Archives: sleep
Heavily Medicated For Your Protection
The Zyprexa is working. Dammit. I should have known how much I needed it. Like I said a couple of posts ago, I’d really hoped to come down or even off some of my meds. But the truth is, the higher dose of Vitamin Z is taking care of both my sleep and my racing thoughts;Continue reading “Heavily Medicated For Your Protection”
True Confessions
Well, I did it again—talked Dr. Goodenough’s ear off and confessed to all sorts of things I had no intention of disclosing. I told him how I’ve been flipping in and out of what I call pre-hypomania all spring, wanting to drink, sleeping poorly, and messing with my meds. I also had trouble sitting stillContinue reading “True Confessions”
The Eyes Have It
One of the funny/strange things about bipolar disorder is the way people’s eyes change when they’re in a mood episode. Seriously. I can always tell when I’m manic, even when I don’t think so otherwise, because my eyes actually sparkle and change colors. My hazel irises turn green and there’s this slightly mad look inContinue reading “The Eyes Have It”
Silly Season
This is sure one weird spring. Weirder than usual, even. On the inside, my mind and heart are racing, which manifests itself in incessant leg-bouncing and shortness of breath. I don’t show any other signs of mania on the outside, but it’s there, just under the surface, like lava threatening to boil over the sideContinue reading “Silly Season”
DX: Acute Stress Reaction
I swear, I really do learn something new every day. My appointment with Dr. Goodenough was on Wednesday, and like I said I would, I brought up the subject of my disturbed sleep and morning anxiety. It had not yet occurred to me that it might be due to the series of unfortunate events I’veContinue reading “DX: Acute Stress Reaction”
No More Blues
Spring hasn’t sprung yet, but I’m out of that mild depression I’ve battled for much of the winter. I woke up the other morning with a sunny disposition, and I’ve done so ever since. I still stay up too late and sleep in almost every day, but otherwise I’m in good shape. Not even the rainContinue reading “No More Blues”
Too Hot To Think
It is currently 101 degrees outside, and probably about 98 here in the house with no air-conditioning. It is literally too hot to think, as I sit here at the computer in front of a fan turned up on Power Ranger and a bottle of water on the desk. I’ve got it positioned where it won’t drownContinue reading “Too Hot To Think”
Ray of Hope
I’m better today. I don’t feel great, and I’m still pretty fragile, but the suicidal ideation is gone and I just feel tired, like I’ve been through a battle of some kind…..as indeed I have. I got a really good night’s rest last night, and even fell asleep at a decent hour thanks to the full Zyprexa dose. It wasContinue reading “Ray of Hope”
To Sleep, Perchance (Not) To Dream
Well, I made it through the night. I did end up taking the Ativan, and not only did I go to sleep shortly after midnight, Will couldn’t rouse me until mid-morning. I must’ve been making up for lost time, because I NEVER sleep that long unless I’m a) sick, or b) depressed. Seeing as howContinue reading “To Sleep, Perchance (Not) To Dream”
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