Heavily Medicated For Your Protection

The Zyprexa is working. Dammit. I should have known how much I needed it. Like I said a couple of posts ago, I’d really hoped to come down or even off some of my meds. But the truth is, the higher dose of Vitamin Z is taking care of both my sleep and my racing thoughts;Continue reading “Heavily Medicated For Your Protection”

True Confessions

Well, I did it again—talked Dr. Goodenough’s ear off and confessed to all sorts of things I had no intention of disclosing. I told him how I’ve been flipping in and out of what I call pre-hypomania all spring, wanting to drink, sleeping poorly, and messing with my meds. I also had trouble sitting stillContinue reading “True Confessions”

The Eyes Have It

One of the funny/strange things about bipolar disorder is the way people’s eyes change when they’re in a mood episode. Seriously. I can always tell when I’m manic, even when I don’t think so otherwise, because my eyes actually sparkle and change colors. My hazel irises turn green and there’s this slightly mad look inContinue reading “The Eyes Have It”

DX: Acute Stress Reaction

I swear, I really do learn something new every day. My appointment with Dr. Goodenough was on Wednesday, and like I said I would, I brought up the subject of my disturbed sleep and morning anxiety. It had not yet occurred to me that it might be due to the series of unfortunate events I’veContinue reading “DX: Acute Stress Reaction”

Ray of Hope

I’m better today. I don’t feel great, and I’m still pretty fragile, but the suicidal ideation is gone and I just feel tired, like I’ve been through a battle of some kind…..as indeed I have. I got a really good night’s rest last night, and even fell asleep at a decent hour thanks to the full Zyprexa dose. It wasContinue reading “Ray of Hope”

To Sleep, Perchance (Not) To Dream

Well, I made it through the night. I did end up taking the Ativan, and not only did I go to sleep shortly after midnight, Will couldn’t rouse me until mid-morning. I must’ve been making up for lost time, because I NEVER sleep that long unless I’m a) sick, or b) depressed. Seeing as howContinue reading “To Sleep, Perchance (Not) To Dream”

Help Me Make It Through The Night

Oh yeah, the sleep schedule is unraveling all right, just as summer begins and I continue to lie awake well past midnight, my mind awash in endless torrents of thought. I’m still going to bed by 11:30 every night—well, almost every night—but then I proceed to stare up at the ceiling and try to figure aContinue reading “Help Me Make It Through The Night”