Almost There

I learned something new today: you can make a psychiatrist spew Diet Coke across a room by telling him that you were merely experiencing a life crisis for the past two years instead of the mental illness he diagnosed you with.

He apologized for laughing, but the point had been made: if I ever get to thinking that way again, I’d better be calling the office. In fact, he called my case “classic bipolar” and tossed in still another med increase to knock down the last of the mania that’s been ruling my life in recent weeks.

Now for the latest indignity: I have a CURFEW. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am almost 55 years old, and I have to be in bed no later than 11:30 PM every night and out of it no later than 8:00 AM every day. He wants to reset my body clock so it’ll be more in sync with the rest of the world, but even more importantly, to establish consistency in my sleep patterns and thus promote stability.

OK, I get that, but I was instantly outraged and began to protest vigorously: “I’m an adult, you know. I’m not a five-year-old!” Still, I found myself negotiating the bedtime like one (“ELEVEN PM??! But I wanna stay up and watch the news!”), but even though he agreed to move the time to 11:30, he wouldn’t budge any further.

Then it occurred to me that I pay this fellow a lot of money to tell me what to do, so I might as well do it. Besides, the way I’ve been doing things isn’t exactly working for me, is it?

The sleep part won’t be a problem for awhile, that’s for sure. He’s loading me up on Zyprexa along with the Geodon, and if that doesn’t knock my ass out, NOTHING will. I took the same combination one time during this episode and I was still clearing the cobwebs out of my brain at noon the next day. At least it’s only for a week….then I get to cut the dose in half and then taper off after another week, if all goes well and I can remain stable (oh, Lord, I hope so—I’ve eaten half a dozen cookies today!!).

No, I’m not “there” yet. But I have an easy weekend ahead of me—my workplace knows I’ve been ill, so they’re going to let me go home after I do the morning med pass—and of course I’m going to be getting plenty of sleep. By Monday, I should be as good as new.

Hey, honey…….can you grab me a couple more Oreos while you’re in the kitchen?

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

3 thoughts on “Almost There

  1. My doctor has me on a 10:30 bedtime and 7 a.m.wake up time. The waking time is a bit ridiculous because I wake up at 3 anyway. I go back to bed at 4:30 and sleep until 6. Sleep and I seem to be locked in timeless battle. I lose.

    I hope you’re well!


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