Another One Bites the Dust

The end came quietly this morning in a meeting with my managers, both of whom were genuinely unhappy about having to “release me from my trial service”, as it was so delicately put. It was the nicest firing I’ve ever experienced, and while being unemployed again is scary, my primary emotion is relief.

It’s not like I didn’t know this was coming. I figured it would be today or Monday at the latest, and I was ready for it…..which made it possible to sit through the exit interview with my dignity and professionalism intact. In fact, my managers remarked about how much they and my co-workers liked me, as well as appreciating the fact that I took criticism with grace. (I know—was that really me they were talking about?) And judging by “Ken’s” strong grip and lingering handshake at the end, I believe that they actually were sorry to see me go.

OK. Now that that’s out of the way, I have literally a smorgasbord of opportunities in front of me. For the first time in two decades, I’m open to just about anything but floor nursing, telephone solicitation, and prostitution. I could go back to school and become a medical coder. I could try to get a job at Costco or Home Depot. I could work as a patient registrar at the hospital. I’d like to make the kind of money I’m used to, but that’s probably not going to happen, and at this point I’d even take a minimum-wage job if it means not having an hour’s drive and fighting eighteen-wheelers to and from work five days a week.

What I will do is go to Vocational Rehab next Monday and restart my case; get my hair cut and colored; file for unemployment benefits. I’ll relax this weekend and then hit the pavement, or at least the Internet, in search of a new job. I’ll do some networking and see if any of my friends know of openings I might apply for.

What I will NOT do is feel sorry for myself. Nope, not one bit. I gave this thing every chance and tried to make it work, and it was simply a poor fit. It happens. I put myself out there, and it takes some pretty good stuff to get as far as I did. I knew I was taking a gamble by accepting the position, knowing that I might get tripped up by this rotten disease I have or by issues with learning and memory, and the latter was what got me. I don’t regret trying it for a minute. I didn’t do anything wrong, and I’m not a failure.

This is what I want everyone to remind me of when the inevitable crash comes and I start talking crap about myself. Thanks in advance.




Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

10 thoughts on “Another One Bites the Dust

  1. The day that I was fired from my engineering job was the best day of my adult life. It really opened my eyes to the fact that I had so many other opportunities around me. I am currently on disability, but have been working towards opening a photography business. Totally different from my technical degree, but I am finally happy.


    1. Thank you. This is inspirational to me, as I’m really not interested in another nursing position and I’m not trained for anything else. Who knows, maybe I’ll end up being the greatest barista on the planet! 😀


    1. I appreciate that. 🙂 I can’t get down on myself with this one—I knew when I accepted the job that I was taking a big chance of falling on my face, but I also knew I’d have regretted NOT taking it and at least giving it a try. I came, I saw, it kicked my ass. Oh well!


    1. Thank you. That makes two of us! At this point in life, I’m not so much in search of a career anymore, just a job that I can live with and that lets me enjoy my REAL life. 🙂


  2. I agree with David. And along with that an “aw Marla” and a hug! You did give it your best shot and I am proud of you! xoxo


    1. I appreciate that. 🙂 I did try, and I don’t regret a moment of it even though it didn’t work out. I learned a ton of things that could be very useful should I go back to LTC.


  3. I think taking these chances outside our comfort zone is good … as long as we come out other end of it with the same or less “issues.” I have found though my self doubt is always there when I push or make myself do things I am either successful or able to fake it enough to make it. Then never go back lol. I love your attitude about it and there is something meant for you out there. (at least I try and tell myself that when I want to give up and bully myself)


  4. I keep hoping so, although it’s getting pretty late in the day and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for…..that place where I’m meant to be. :/ But, life isn’t over yet, and who knows, it could be just around the corner.


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