It’s Halloween

…and boy, am I ever glad I’m not where I was three years ago tonight. The hospital was the best place for me then and I knew it, even though I’d have given almost anything to take my grandsons out trick-or-treating instead. I had never fallen so far down the rabbit hole before, and IContinue reading “It’s Halloween”

Going Inpatient: One Year Later

I will never again be able to think about Halloween without remembering where I was on October 31st, 2014. I’d written a short post here saying that I’d hit bottom and was going to the hospital, then after my psych eval I sat in the “safe room” in the ER for six looooong hours waitingContinue reading “Going Inpatient: One Year Later”

Surviving Bipolar

It’s been several months now since my brain last attempted to murder me, and with the passage of time the harsh lines that defined that episode and the resulting hospitalization have blurred somewhat. Now I look back and wonder how I could have even THOUGHT about suicide, let alone planned it…..only the method, and whetherContinue reading “Surviving Bipolar”

We Shall Overcome

Today I did something I’m quite proud of. As my readership knows, I am having a miserable time of it these days. I am depressed and fearful; my days are spent sorting and boxing things up, and my nights are full of disturbing dreams. I’m trying to look for the good in all of this, and failing utterly.Continue reading “We Shall Overcome”

Dark Night Of the Soul

***TRIGGER WARNING*** I decided I’d better put a trigger warning at the top of this post like I did the last one, because the theme of this one is even scarier. Just in time for Halloween. Only this isn’t tricks or treats, and the fear doesn’t go away with the flip of a calendar page. The past 36 hoursContinue reading “Dark Night Of the Soul”

Depression On My Mind

One of the advantages of admitting one is depressed is it takes all the pressure off to pretend otherwise. I’ve fought it tooth and nails for over a week, but the truth is I feel lousy and I may as well acknowledge it. There’s no use in trying to pass it off as a little blip on the radar, or blame it solelyContinue reading “Depression On My Mind”