Survival Mode

I’m getting anxious again. We have a week and a half before we’re supposed to be out of this house, Will’s been too sick to pack stuff and we have NO money for a place to live—we may have enough to rent a storage shed and a moving truck, but that’s about it. Not only that,Continue reading “Survival Mode”

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

Another visit with Dr. Awesomesauce has come and gone, and once again I am left to ponder the discussion and extract the pearls of wisdom from it. I do this every time I see him, because there really is a lot of substance even in the joking and teasing interspersed between the serious talk. AsContinue reading “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys”

I’m Not Depressed. No, Really.

Sometimes I’m amazed at my ability to stand outside my own life as an observer. I should be wrapping and packing our stuff, but on this rainy, dreary day I have chosen to play armchair quarterback and analyze how I’ve been feeling over the past week or so. I don’t know if it’ll help me sort things out, butContinue reading “I’m Not Depressed. No, Really.”

A Disturbance In The Force

I think all the stress in my life is finally starting to get to me. For the past two days I’ve been itchy, squirrelly, and having some difficulty finding a place for myself. Nothing feels right; I’ve been trying to write this post all damn day and I’m not even sure if it’s going to make sense. Nevertheless, I’mContinue reading “A Disturbance In The Force”


And now for your edification, here is a discussion about what psychiatry calls “triggers”. For those not in the know, triggers are events, thoughts, emotions etc. that cause or contribute to the development of mood episodes. Sometimes episodes come out of nowhere, and in my experience those are harder to deal with because I don’t knowContinue reading “Trigger-Happy”

Scrambled Letters, Scrambled Brain

You know you’re in for a bad night when even your most effective means for shutting down your brain doesn’t work. I have this mental picture I use when I’m having trouble getting my mind off something unpleasant: I visualize a giant stop sign right in front of me and say STOP out loud. It usually works by distracting meContinue reading “Scrambled Letters, Scrambled Brain”

Same S#!+, Different Day

My sleep is getting screwy again. The past four nights I’ve been awake well past midnight with racing thoughts, trying to calm my mind with prayer and meditation and failing utterly. Then I can barely get out of bed in the morning because my brain does not have an OFF switch and my ruminations continue all night, even after IContinue reading “Same S#!+, Different Day”

It’s All Good

I’m doing really, really well these days. I’m happy (without being TOO happy, if you know what I mean) and I feel calm on the inside, even though I’m running out of unemployment and my last paycheck from my current job won’t even pay next month’s electric bill. The suckage in January will be horrendous, but I know better daysContinue reading “It’s All Good”