Day of Reckoning

Well, this is it—the day I’ve been worrying about for a week. I haven’t been this nervous about seeing my pdoc since the very first visit. I KNOW he won’t judge me, but I hate disappointing him almost as much as I do my family and friends. Like the detective at heart that I am,Continue reading “Day of Reckoning”

Anatomy of a Relapse

I gave the pills to my husband last night. Now that I’ve had that maddening and yet oh-so-alluring taste of intoxication, I want more of it, even though the desire is totally irrational and there is nothing happening now that makes me want to be numb. Unfortunately, that is probably the most dangerous feeling onContinue reading “Anatomy of a Relapse”

It’s Always Something….

OK, I admit it: I’m feeling a bit down these days. ‘Tis the season for that anyway, but the relapse is also weighing heavily as the sheer stupidity of it becomes more clear. I still can’t believe I did it. Twenty-one years, eight months, and twenty-nine days of perfect sobriety shot to hell in oneContinue reading “It’s Always Something….”