My Big Fat Bipolar Life

One thing about losing my husband, it’s made me reflective of the years we spent together. This coming Tuesday would have been our 36th wedding anniversary and I’m prepared to have a difficult day, although I don’t intend to wallow in it. I’m ever-so-slightly hypomanic now that one of my favorite times of the year hasContinue reading “My Big Fat Bipolar Life”

Football, Weather, Missed Meds, Etc.

I forgot my meds last night. I haven’t done that in over a year, and the last time I did it I experienced the entire bipolar spectrum in one day. This time, I’m kinda numb around the lips and my head is buzzing, but other than feeling a bit on the hypomanic side I’m OK. IContinue reading “Football, Weather, Missed Meds, Etc.”

Trouble In Paradise

Well, I wouldn’t exactly call my life paradise, but it sure beats anything else I can think of. I’ve got way too much on my plate though. The first week of April is going to be a doozy and I’m already over-amped and anxious. My oldest son is getting married on the 2nd, and whileContinue reading “Trouble In Paradise”

Dumb Things People Say To “Help” Those With Mental Illness

It happens to all of us: we’re smack in the middle of a mood episode and a family member or friend, in an effort to be helpful, utters some platitude about how we need to cheer up in depression, or to settle down when we’re manic. But while we know they’re only trying to make us feel better, there are some phrasesContinue reading “Dumb Things People Say To “Help” Those With Mental Illness”

Out of Focus

This post will probably seem somewhat disjointed because I’m having trouble concentrating today. It goes in spurts; some days my focus is laser-sharp, while others find me unable to string together a cohesive series of thoughts. Today is one of the latter. Even this short post is taking forever to compose. My nails tap theContinue reading “Out of Focus”

To Sleep, Perchance (Not) To Dream

Well, I made it through the night. I did end up taking the Ativan, and not only did I go to sleep shortly after midnight, Will couldn’t rouse me until mid-morning. I must’ve been making up for lost time, because I NEVER sleep that long unless I’m a) sick, or b) depressed. Seeing as howContinue reading “To Sleep, Perchance (Not) To Dream”

Help Me Make It Through The Night

Oh yeah, the sleep schedule is unraveling all right, just as summer begins and I continue to lie awake well past midnight, my mind awash in endless torrents of thought. I’m still going to bed by 11:30 every night—well, almost every night—but then I proceed to stare up at the ceiling and try to figure aContinue reading “Help Me Make It Through The Night”

The Med-Go-Round

After carefully weighing the pros and cons, I’ve decided to start my Zyprexa dose reduction a couple of weeks early. It’s a good time to try it; after all, I’ve remained stable despite the negativity that’s been thrown at me lately and the fact that a) I’m as poor as Job’s turkey, and b) I’m not getting anywhereContinue reading “The Med-Go-Round”

Oh What A Relief It Is

……to have a doctor who puts the “care” in healthcare. And to know that this hellish feeling will more than likely be gone soon. After fighting these damnable mood swings for the past several weeks, I finally put my pride in my back pocket and called Dr. A’s office this afternoon. I knew with his abbreviatedContinue reading “Oh What A Relief It Is”