Well, the “year of firsts” following the loss of my husband is about to come to an end. The anniversary is next Thursday, July 13th, but it’s the night of the 12th that will haunt me forever. I remember, as if it happened yesterday, the horror of watching him writhe in pain and throw upContinue reading “A Blast From the Past”
Tag Archives: loss
Bipolar and Loss
Being on disability, I’ve had a good long time to process what has happened to me in the past few years, and finally some clarity has emerged. Not only am I dealing with the loss of my husband, but I still have unresolved grief for the life I had before my bipolar diagnosis. As thoseContinue reading “Bipolar and Loss”
Amid the chaos of moving and trying to figure out where Will and I are going to go, there has been little time for reflection on how we got into this situation. But now that I’m on my second batch of papers for SSDI—the ones somebody who knows you well has to fill out—I can’t help wondering where the personContinue reading “Lose Yourself”
No Country For Old Men (Or Women)
Now that I have 24 hours of antibiotics in me and a LOT less pain, I can finally turn my attention back to a more pressing need: a way out of this mess I call my life these days. No, I am not suicidal or depressed. I was for a short time there, but it’s over andContinue reading “No Country For Old Men (Or Women)”
Thirty years ago today, I gave birth to a baby girl who was perfect in every way, except for one devastating defect: she was anencephalic. This means her brain never formed properly; she had only a brain stem. Needless to say, the condition is incompatible with life, and she was with us for only 7 hours afterContinue reading “In Memoriam”
Where Do I Go From Here?
Of course, now that we have gotten one HUGE problem under a semblance of control, another one rears its ugly head: I still have to figure out what to do about work. I had a very honest—and very upsetting—talk with my boss on the phone yesterday after Will and I had gotten the great newsContinue reading “Where Do I Go From Here?”
The Golden Turd Syndrome
My friend Jesse just got back from his appointment with my psychiatrist this afternoon (and I’m telling you, I’d better start getting some discounts for all the business I’m sending him!) with a new diagnosis of “golden turd syndrome”. I somehow doubt this one’s in the DSM, but it ought to be: it’s when yourContinue reading “The Golden Turd Syndrome”
How The Hell Do You Chart THIS?!?
I have quite the love/hate affair with mood charts. I’m addicted to them—I have a total of four that I use daily or almost daily—but I wish I could combine them all into one single comprehensive tool for monitoring my moods accurately. Of course, it would be even better if I didn’t have to doContinue reading “How The Hell Do You Chart THIS?!?”