***TRIGGER WARNING*** I decided I’d better put a trigger warning at the top of this post like I did the last one, because the theme of this one is even scarier. Just in time for Halloween. Only this isn’t tricks or treats, and the fear doesn’t go away with the flip of a calendar page. The past 36 hoursContinue reading “Dark Night Of the Soul”
Tag Archives: life crisis
Rock-Bottom Blues
***TRIGGER WARNING*** Bad, bad thoughts ahead. This is it—I have found it—I am in Hell. Or at least my version of it, anyway. Things have fallen through at my son’s so Will and I can’t move in with him, and as of now we have nowhere to go. Nowhere to go. To say I am terrifiedContinue reading “Rock-Bottom Blues”
Dear Life: Would You At Least Start Using Lubricant?
…..please? I am definitely having a downturn. It’s situational. There’s so much that needs to be accomplished in the next few weeks and nothing is even remotely settled yet. I’m looking at finances and the numbers scare the hell out of me. Will and I have to re-home three cats whom we’ve had for their entire lives, and it’sContinue reading “Dear Life: Would You At Least Start Using Lubricant?”
A Disturbance In The Force
I think all the stress in my life is finally starting to get to me. For the past two days I’ve been itchy, squirrelly, and having some difficulty finding a place for myself. Nothing feels right; I’ve been trying to write this post all damn day and I’m not even sure if it’s going to make sense. Nevertheless, I’mContinue reading “A Disturbance In The Force”
High Anxiety: Chapter 2
Today is a better day. I didn’t take any Ativan last night, but I went to bed at the normal time and slept well. I had a talk with my son yesterday, and it’s looking like Will and I won’t have to live out of the car after all. Needless to say, this is an enormous relief. It’s not theContinue reading “High Anxiety: Chapter 2”
Tumbling Down
I had The Talk with Will late last night. I’ve done nothing but stew and plot and plan for the past week or so, and I figured I’d better let him in on my thought processes. He’s been watching me like a hawk and asking if I’ve taken my meds, which I know means he’s worriedContinue reading “Tumbling Down”
A Fine Mess
And now it begins: The enormity of what I’ve lost, am losing, and am about to lose is beginning to crash in on me, and it’s staggering. My unemployment benefits are running out. I can’t find a “real” job. Will’s Social Security isn’t enough to get us into even a small apartment, ergo, that means we are goingContinue reading “A Fine Mess”
Scrambled Letters, Scrambled Brain
You know you’re in for a bad night when even your most effective means for shutting down your brain doesn’t work. I have this mental picture I use when I’m having trouble getting my mind off something unpleasant: I visualize a giant stop sign right in front of me and say STOP out loud. It usually works by distracting meContinue reading “Scrambled Letters, Scrambled Brain”
Faith, Hope and Love
…..and the greatest of these is Love. Thanks to my support people, I’ve got that one down pretty well. But I’m sure struggling with the faith and hope parts. They go together—if you have faith, you have hope—and I feel bereft of both these days. Please understand, Constant Reader, that I am not depressed. I amContinue reading “Faith, Hope and Love”
Promises In The Dark
I’ve backslid quite a bit today. Things are coming to a head in my life and I am greatly afraid of where it’s headed. It seems to be in a free-fall that I cannot stop; I’m in a place where life just keeps getting worse, and I keep losing more and more. Maybe not allContinue reading “Promises In The Dark”
