Taking A Dip

OK, I’ll admit it: my mood has taken a dip. The mild mixed episode I had last month has settled into a moderate depression, and now I’m utterly lacking in motivation. It’s not bad as depressions go; I’m able to enjoy things and people given the opportunity, and I can comfort myself with the fact thatContinue reading “Taking A Dip”

Still Another Trip Around the Sun

My 58th birthday has come and gone, and it was a good day despite missing Will acutely. I got to go out to dinner with the family, and they made me a cake that they didn’t set on fire this time. I heard from all of my kids as well as my sister, who callsContinue reading “Still Another Trip Around the Sun”

Out Of Sorts

I’m feeling decidedly off-kilter these days, so please forgive me if this post reflects that. But I have stories to tell, and I hope you’ll read them. That’s why I write this blog—not only to help myself sort out my life, but to educate and hopefully entertain you, the reader. (At least sometimes.) I’m still having troubleContinue reading “Out Of Sorts”

Grief and the Holidays

I’m out of the depression. I have no idea why, but I’m happy to see it go. I started feeling better a few days ago, and it seems to be holding so I’m taking advantage of it, knowing the post-holiday letdown will probably drop-kick me. It’s still not that I’m looking forward to Christmas andContinue reading “Grief and the Holidays”

Blue Christmas

I’m beginning to like Dr. Goodenough. He wants to keep me close while we’re getting to know each other, meaning he wants to see me monthly until we both feel comfortable going longer in between visits. He also doesn’t want to mess with my meds, thank God. They work just fine, and he’s going to leaveContinue reading “Blue Christmas”

Mixed Feelings

It’s been eight weeks since Will passed away, and all I can say is that I’ve got a shitstorm of emotions going on. Which isn’t surprising, or even all that awful, it’s just weird…like bipolar on crack. I can go from happy and smiling to a weepy mess in a matter of seconds, and vice-versa. I canContinue reading “Mixed Feelings”

A Year of Firsts

It’s been exactly one month since Will passed away. To say this is a difficult day would be an understatement, but I’m facing a whole bunch of them so this first “anniversary” is only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve been warned about this by other widows. There is an entire year of “firsts” to get through—the firstContinue reading “A Year of Firsts”

The Funeral and Other Things

We laid Will to rest Monday in an (almost) perfect funeral Mass. My older son delivered the most beautiful eulogy I’ve ever heard, and I’ve never been so proud of him as I am now. The music and Scriptures I chose flowed together better than I thought; the flowers were gorgeous, and the dessert receptionContinue reading “The Funeral and Other Things”