Going “Toucan”

Sheesh, I guess I didn’t need to worry about having enough fodder for blog posts to start off this contest I’ve entered. Today’s appointment with Dr. Awesomesauce was LOADED with material—not all of which needs to be shared, to be sure, but there’s still plenty to talk about. First of all, if I didn’t know it before, I do now:Continue reading “Going “Toucan””

To Be, Or Not To Be

…..that is the eternal debate between people who say “I’m bipolar” and those who prefer “I have bipolar”. There are good arguments on both sides of the aisle. You’ve probably never heard someone say “I am cancer” or “I am heart disease”, because no one really wants to be defined by their illness. On the other hand, lots ofContinue reading “To Be, Or Not To Be”

Deep Shit, Arkansas

Well, it doesn’t look like I’m coming off Zyprexa anytime soon. That wasn’t the focus of today’s appointment with Dr. A; in fact, we didn’t even really discuss it—I just asked and he said he was leaving things the way they are. I was sure he’d want to take me off the Z soon, or at least taper it downContinue reading “Deep Shit, Arkansas”

Insanity Plea

Now that I’m on a roll (four good days in a row!!), I thought it might be interesting to talk about how people with mental illness learn to determine the difference between what is “us” and what is our disorder. It’s taking me what seems like forever to figure this out, and even though I’ve got a decent handleContinue reading “Insanity Plea”

Oh What A Relief It Is

……to have a doctor who puts the “care” in healthcare. And to know that this hellish feeling will more than likely be gone soon. After fighting these damnable mood swings for the past several weeks, I finally put my pride in my back pocket and called Dr. A’s office this afternoon. I knew with his abbreviatedContinue reading “Oh What A Relief It Is”

I Don’t Go Crazy, I AM Crazy. I Just Go Normal From Time to Time.

That’s what a lot of life is about, anyway. I figured it out on my way home from work. It’s all about appearances: you can be having the most horrid thoughts imaginable, walking around thinking “oh my God, I SUCK”, and yet nobody sees what goes on behind your eyes. All they see is another human being,Continue reading “I Don’t Go Crazy, I AM Crazy. I Just Go Normal From Time to Time.”

The Most Interesting Man In the World

…..is doubtless lying on a Hawaiian beach right now, lazing in the sun and feeling the trade winds ruffle what little hair he has. Swine. Not that I really begrudge him the trip, you see. Dr. Awesomesauce has got seasonal depression as bad as the rest of us poor Pacific Northwesterners, his light box broke, and it’s late February……what’re ya gonna do? Actually,Continue reading “The Most Interesting Man In the World”

Reality Check

If ever I needed some healing energies—and I certainly do—I got them today. I didn’t realize until last night’s blog entry drew a bucketful of concerned responses that things really were as bad as they felt. Laced with profanities and full of anger, it was the kind of post that tends to alarm my readers, and with good reason:Continue reading “Reality Check”