As discouraged as I am about my job these days, I realized something yesterday as I was trying to find my way back home after getting lost in Fungus Corners, Oregon for the third time this week: I have once again achieved a relative state of normality. This is no small feat in the face of circumstances that wouldContinue reading “Landing On My Feet”
Tag Archives: anxiety
ARRRGGGHHH!!
Ah……I feel better now. Nothing like a little primal scream therapy to get rid of some frustration. Make that a LOT of frustration. I have never in my life sucked so badly at a job (with the possible exception of telephone solicitation, a position I held some thirty years ago…..for about four hours). I’ve beenContinue reading “ARRRGGGHHH!!”
Pep Talk
This has been a great long weekend for me, with lots of good food, fun, and family, along with some wisdom from my favorite psychiatrist and a beautiful Easter Mass to feed my soul. The weather has been good for the most part, and watching my grandsons frolic on the front lawn is always a treat.Continue reading “Pep Talk”
Coming Out Bipolar: The Sequel
Today was “report card” day at work, and my meeting with the managers went just as I expected—they are very understanding and supportive, and they definitely want me to be successful, but I’ve got to get my shit together. So I told them what I told my training instructors the other day. Oddly, they didn’tContinue reading “Coming Out Bipolar: The Sequel”
I’m Wet. I’m Tired. I’m Pissed. Deal With It.
I think I understand now why people commit suicide over financial issues. No, I don’t have any ideas along that line, but after being hounded for money so much recently—and knowing that we will NEVER escape this mountain of debt—I am in complete sympathy with those who feel that only death will solve their problems. Today,Continue reading “I’m Wet. I’m Tired. I’m Pissed. Deal With It.”
What Recovery Looks Like (I Think)
If you’ve been following bpnurse for the past few weeks, you know that I’ve just started a job that is already challenging me to think WAY outside the box. The learning curve is steep and I’m having to unlearn a lot of what I picked up working in long-term care for so many years. Even the simplest things canContinue reading “What Recovery Looks Like (I Think)”
No Rest For The Weary
……and the down elevator is in operation again, though it hasn’t descended as far or as fast as it did B.C. (Before Celexa). This is a less irritable and more sad type of mood, which oddly doesn’t make me feel like crying; it’s just that it feels as if everything is ending somehow. It’s not hardContinue reading “No Rest For The Weary”
Beautiful Dreamer
Have I ever told you about how awesome my son-in-law is? He’s a hairdresser who can literally make magic: he has the ability to turn a frumpy, late-middle-aged grandmother into a sassy chick with attitude. It takes over three hours to do my hair, but the results are well worth it—I look and feel fifteenContinue reading “Beautiful Dreamer”
As Clear As Mud
Well, as nice as it’s been not to keep running up my tab at the front desk, it’s been too long since I’ve seen my psychiatrist. Seven weeks since my last appointment, and another nine days to go until my next. The longest I’ve ever gone before was six weeks, and that was before allContinue reading “As Clear As Mud”
Gonna Go Eat Some Worms
Admit it—you said this verse at some time way back in your childhood too: “Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna go eat some worms!” Now, I never did resort to punishing myself in such a slimy fashion (ulp!), but I remember the feeling of being the outsider all too well. It’s the way I felt todayContinue reading “Gonna Go Eat Some Worms”
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