A Blast From the Past

Well, the “year of firsts” following the loss of my husband is about to come to an end. The anniversary is next Thursday, July 13th, but it’s the night of the 12th that will haunt me forever. I remember, as if it happened yesterday, the horror of watching him writhe in pain and throw upContinue reading “A Blast From the Past”

The Winter Of My Discontent

Have I ever told you how much I hate winter? Oh, it has a few charms, like the rare snowfall that sticks around for a day or two and then melts. This year, however, we’re having a long, cold, snowy, wet winter and the perpetually grey skies over our Pacific Northwest home make it hard for myContinue reading “The Winter Of My Discontent”

Valentine’s Day: The Struggle Is Real

I’ve never really liked Valentine’s Day. I’ve long suspected that it’s a fake holiday invented to fatten the wallets of the CEOs of the chocolate and florist industries, so I didn’t make a big deal out of it. Will, on the other hand, always bought me a card and roses, and in good years we went out forContinue reading “Valentine’s Day: The Struggle Is Real”

Still Another Trip Around the Sun

My 58th birthday has come and gone, and it was a good day despite missing Will acutely. I got to go out to dinner with the family, and they made me a cake that they didn’t set on fire this time. I heard from all of my kids as well as my sister, who callsContinue reading “Still Another Trip Around the Sun”

Losing Carrie

As everyone but the proverbial three-toed sloth knows by now, actress and mental health advocate Carrie Fisher has died at the age of (only) 60. From the early reports from sources close to the dramatic events that occurred aboard her plane, I knew she was probably not going to make it; few people survive cardiac arrest outsideContinue reading “Losing Carrie”

Happy Holidays…I Think

As Christmas arrives, I’m definitely struggling to keep up appearances. This is supposed to be the happiest time of the year; it’s not anyone else’s fault that I’m sad. But I did lose it with my son-in-law this afternoon, and cried into his sleeve for what seemed like an hour. Thank Heaven for him, he always seems to beContinue reading “Happy Holidays…I Think”

Grief and the Holidays

I’m out of the depression. I have no idea why, but I’m happy to see it go. I started feeling better a few days ago, and it seems to be holding so I’m taking advantage of it, knowing the post-holiday letdown will probably drop-kick me. It’s still not that I’m looking forward to Christmas andContinue reading “Grief and the Holidays”

Blue Christmas

I’m beginning to like Dr. Goodenough. He wants to keep me close while we’re getting to know each other, meaning he wants to see me monthly until we both feel comfortable going longer in between visits. He also doesn’t want to mess with my meds, thank God. They work just fine, and he’s going to leaveContinue reading “Blue Christmas”