I Want to Go Off My Meds. Somebody Please Talk Me Out of It.

Well, I do. I admit it. I’m tired of taking fistfuls of pills twice a day and I wish I could stop. Just as an experiment, of course…even though the last time I neglected to take my nighttime meds, I experienced the entire bipolar spectrum the next day and it took two more to straighten myself out.Continue reading “I Want to Go Off My Meds. Somebody Please Talk Me Out of It.”

Joyful And Triumphant

That’s how I feel now that I’ve been on the lower dose of Geodon for several weeks now, and my brain hasn’t missed it! I’ve been stable even throughout surgery, pain, and hospitalization, which can trigger all sorts of mood changes. This bodes very well for continuing to decrease my medication burden to a point whereContinue reading “Joyful And Triumphant”

A Dose Of My Own Medicine

Did I mention that my medications were adjusted in the hospital? I haven’t talked about meds in quite a while, other than to whine about still being on Zyprexa after eight months. They continue to be the mainstay of my treatment, and I think I’ve finally accepted the fact that I am going to beContinue reading “A Dose Of My Own Medicine”

Shrink Wrapped, Redux

I have a sneaking suspicious that Dr. Awesomesauce reads this blog once in a while. I mean, I didn’t even get the chance to bring up cutting back on the Zyprexa at our session this morning. When the topic turned to meds, he shook his finger sternly at me and said “Stay on your meds asContinue reading “Shrink Wrapped, Redux”

Drug Dependency

This is what I always was afraid would happen to me if I stayed on psychotropic medications for any length of time, and I was right: I have become utterly dependent on them. I forgot my AMs again this morning, so of course by three PM I was restless and edgy. I’d called in my refill requestsContinue reading “Drug Dependency”

Jagged Little Pill

So it’s five days into my dosage-reduction experiment, and everything is going fine—I don’t think my brain has caught on yet, and the only side effect is being less sluggish in the mornings (which is exactly what I was hoping for). Yeah, there’s the late-night wakefulness, but as I said yesterday, this is not new and it’sContinue reading “Jagged Little Pill”

The Med-Go-Round

After carefully weighing the pros and cons, I’ve decided to start my Zyprexa dose reduction a couple of weeks early. It’s a good time to try it; after all, I’ve remained stable despite the negativity that’s been thrown at me lately and the fact that a) I’m as poor as Job’s turkey, and b) I’m not getting anywhereContinue reading “The Med-Go-Round”

Give Us This Day Our Daily Meds

This is the miracle drug “cocktail” that keeps me alive and well and (reasonably) sane. The top nine are my daytime meds, AKA the Breakfast of Champions; the bottom eight are my nightly Handful of Sanity. “Better living through chemistry” isn’t just a saying…..it’s a fact, because some of these tiny objects keep my blood pressure, cholesterolContinue reading “Give Us This Day Our Daily Meds”

Five Good Days

Yep, I’m on a roll. I’ve had five golden days of feeling blessedly normal, and believe me, that’s a miracle considering how rough the past couple of months have been. Two weeks ago I was talking crazy about packing up Will and the pets and lighting out for parts unknown; today I was able to write a professional- grade report onContinue reading “Five Good Days”

The Zyprexa Made Me Eat It

Somewhere in the U.S., a company called CafePress is selling womens’ T-shirts that proclaim, in essence, that the wearer is overweight because she takes a certain medication: “The Zyprexa Made Me Eat It”. I’m not kidding. I’ve seen them advertised on Facebook. And as if for emphasis, they don’t even make ’em in small sizes—they start at 16-18Continue reading “The Zyprexa Made Me Eat It”