I’ve thought about this for some time, and I’ve got to confess that the word ‘recovery’ doesn’t work for me when it comes to my mental health. That’s fine. It may work for plenty of other people, and that’s fine too. But when I think of my bipolar 1 disorder, I know it’s something thatContinue reading “Why “Recovery” Doesn’t Work For Me”
Category Archives: Bipolar Me
38 Years
Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. I don’t know why, but this day is even harder on me than the anniversary of Will’s death. I spend it feeling absolutely horrible, and I teeter on the edge of tears all day. This year I didn’t cry, but felt empty and sad, and if it weren’t for the distraction ofContinue reading “38 Years”
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jog
I’ve actually been back for a week, but things have been kind of crazy around home and I simply haven’t had much time to write. It’s all OK though, so no worries. The trip was wonderful as always, even though we had some stress due to one of our party losing her passport temporarily (sheContinue reading “Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jog”
Bon Voyage
It’s approximately two days, eleven hours and twenty-three minutes till my family and I leave for our vacation, but who’s counting, right? So I thought I’d check in and let everybody know I’m outta here on Monday and will be gone through the 10th of September. I can’t wait! The timing couldn’t be more perfect.Continue reading “Bon Voyage”
Bipolar IN Order
Had my visit with Dr. Goodenough last Wednesday, and as I’d expected, he wants me on the new Zyprexa dose for good. It’s OK, because I’m over the idea that I’m on too much medication (an idea he thought was quite laughable when I mentioned it) and I don’t have the slightest wish to messContinue reading “Bipolar IN Order”
You Mean My Brain Has an OFF Switch?
I’m four weeks into the Zyprexa experiment, and I think this is the quietest my head has ever been. I’m serious. For the first time in ages my thoughts aren’t zipping around at 100 MPH, and there are times I actually catch myself thinking about absolutely nothing at all. This must be what Will and theContinue reading “You Mean My Brain Has an OFF Switch?”
Follow Up
Well, I got the news this morning that I wasn’t looking forward to: I have to stay on the higher Zyprexa dose for the foreseeable future. Dr. Goodenough is even faster at returning phone calls than Dr. Awesomesauce was; I called the office to leave a message on how I was doing at 0935, andContinue reading “Follow Up”
Going The Wrong Way
And to think I was going to ask if I could lower some of my meds… I’m still having trouble with sleep. I don’t think I’m acting out much (although I have been spending too much money lately and can’t account for it), but I have to admit I feel a little fragile from the frequent nightsContinue reading “Going The Wrong Way”
O Sleep, Wherefore Art Thou?
It’s a little after 6 in the morning, and I’m wide awake writing this. Why? Because I can’t sleep. Again. I’ve been up all night, and I couldn’t even sneak in a couple of hours this morning. I tried going to bed around 4, but only lay awake with my eyes open, staring stupidly atContinue reading “O Sleep, Wherefore Art Thou?”
True Confessions
Well, I did it again—talked Dr. Goodenough’s ear off and confessed to all sorts of things I had no intention of disclosing. I told him how I’ve been flipping in and out of what I call pre-hypomania all spring, wanting to drink, sleeping poorly, and messing with my meds. I also had trouble sitting stillContinue reading “True Confessions”
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