Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. It’s winter and I’m in my customary funk, not really depressed but definitely not my usual shining self (haha). I just had my birthday; I’m 61 and astonished that I’ve made it to this age. It’s funny, when you’re young you never think you’re going to be 40 or 50,Continue reading “The Winter Soldier”
Category Archives: Bipolar Me
Olden Times and Ancient Rhymes
It’s here: the season of joy and cheer. Every year it looks different, but there is one tradition that will never disappear, and that’s listening to Christmas music. Especially the songs I grew up with and still love. A few years ago I made several CDs from music I bought from iTunes with a mixContinue reading “Olden Times and Ancient Rhymes”
It’s All Downhill From Here
Ever since I turned 60 back in January, I’ve found myself contemplating the last part of life. You know, death. Muerto. The End. I wonder about it all the time. I think about what it will be like to not exist anymore except in my loved ones’ memories. But don’t worry, it’s not depression…it’s curiosity.Continue reading “It’s All Downhill From Here”
Bipolar, Wherefore Art Thou?
Having recently passed the anniversary of my hospitalization, I’ve had the opportunity to reflect on the course of my bipolar 1 disorder and stand in awe at the miracles wrought by hard work and a little medication. Well, OK, a lot of medication, but by this time I’m no longer counting. It’s been five yearsContinue reading “Bipolar, Wherefore Art Thou?”
Fall Back
It’s Saturday night and I’m in my customary spot on the sofa with my poor outraged left ankle encased in a walking boot, and surrounded by little dogs who seem content to be close but not ON me. I have Live PD on the television, fresh ice water on the end table, a Butterfingers bar,Continue reading “Fall Back”
Peace and Quiet
It has occurred to me over this short, mild summer that for the first time since I don’t know when, I haven’t had the slightest inclination toward becoming manic or even hypomanic. I’m calmer on the higher dose of antidepressant, and I have the Klonopin as backup. But I haven’t needed it except for aContinue reading “Peace and Quiet”
Time Of The Season
Well, it’s happening—the change in the angle of the sun’s light that is so subtle that very few people notice it. I am one of those people. It’s not affecting my moods, I’m just more aware of the shift than most. The weather still gets hot, but it takes a little longer to reach theContinue reading “Time Of The Season”
Off-Kilter
I’ve been a little worried about myself lately. For a couple of weeks now I’ve felt anxious and depressed in the mornings, which doesn’t last throughout the day but is concerning to me. I am rarely if ever depressed during the summer; usually I’m fighting off mania and staying up all night, and that’s justContinue reading “Off-Kilter”
Spoon Theory
Have you ever heard of the Spoon Theory? It’s a metaphor for living with disabilities from chronic illness, and it makes all kinds of sense to me. I became familiar with it when I was seeing a therapist a few years ago. Say you’re given 12 spoons at the beginning of each day; they representContinue reading “Spoon Theory”
A Day In the Life
And now, a few words about cognitive dysfunction. Or, as I call it, bipolar brain-fade. It’s like my mind is swallowed up by the mist engulfing all my neurons and synapses. It’s there, to be sure, because I couldn’t function even as well as I do if I didn’t have SOMETHING going for me upstairs.Continue reading “A Day In the Life”
