I made it through the anniversary. In fact, I was pretty much OK with it. When I lit Will’s candle and said a prayer over him, I didn’t even cry—all I felt was peace. I looked over at the chair he used to occupy and remembered what he looked like relaxing in it, watching TVContinue reading “Behind The Mask”
Author Archives: bpnurse
Off-Kilter
I’ve been a little worried about myself lately. For a couple of weeks now I’ve felt anxious and depressed in the mornings, which doesn’t last throughout the day but is concerning to me. I am rarely if ever depressed during the summer; usually I’m fighting off mania and staying up all night, and that’s justContinue reading “Off-Kilter”
Three Things People With Bipolar Don’t Want You to Know
Just when I thought I was in a solid remission… Things have been rather tense in my world recently, so naturally I’m stressed out and anxious. Usually anxiety is a feature of depression for me, but I’m not depressed at all. Just…antsy. Like something’s coming down the pike that I know I’m not going toContinue reading “Three Things People With Bipolar Don’t Want You to Know”
Spoon Theory
Have you ever heard of the Spoon Theory? It’s a metaphor for living with disabilities from chronic illness, and it makes all kinds of sense to me. I became familiar with it when I was seeing a therapist a few years ago. Say you’re given 12 spoons at the beginning of each day; they representContinue reading “Spoon Theory”
Happy Anniversary, bpnurse!
I can hardly believe it: today is the 6th anniversary of the blog you have come to know as bpnurse. I started it on a dare back in 2013 when a good friend of mine told me about a blogging contest she wanted me to enter with her. I don’t remember what the prize was;Continue reading “Happy Anniversary, bpnurse!”
A Day In the Life
And now, a few words about cognitive dysfunction. Or, as I call it, bipolar brain-fade. It’s like my mind is swallowed up by the mist engulfing all my neurons and synapses. It’s there, to be sure, because I couldn’t function even as well as I do if I didn’t have SOMETHING going for me upstairs.Continue reading “A Day In the Life”
Med Change
…ain’t gonna happen. At least not for awhile. Just for the hell of it, I went ahead and asked Dr. Goodenough about possibly coming down or even off a couple of my medications. I’m on SO many and I don’t seem to be able to get it out of my head that I’m taking tooContinue reading “Med Change”
No-Drama Mama
That’s me these days…nothing to complain about, nothing to get worked up about, and everything to be happy about. The weather is gorgeous and spring is in full bloom, but there is no hint of the insanity that tends to grip me at this time of the year. I’m back in the habit of goingContinue reading “No-Drama Mama”
The Doctor Is In
I’m on a roll. I’ve had to go to Dr. Goodenough three times in the last three months, and I’ve already got another appointment next month. I think Dr. G is managing me very conservatively and would rather be safe than sorry. I don’t think anything is afoot—I had absolutely NO hint of March Madness,Continue reading “The Doctor Is In”
I Can Has Cheezburger?
It’s March 31st, and there has been no sign of my usual March Madness. I’m 95% out of the depression and feel considerably better about life these days, and the weather has cooperated as well for the most part, bringing us sunshine and the warmth I crave so much. I even wore sandals for aContinue reading “I Can Has Cheezburger?”
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