Stream Of Consciousness

It feels so good to be out of that depression. I am somewhat scattered-brained today though, so I’m going to just write about random things. You know, stream-of-consciousness stuff that tumbles out of my head at will.

Speaking of Will, he’s having a hard day with too much vomiting. (Actually I thing ANY vomiting is too much, but lately if he only throws up once a day, that’s a good day.) I think I’m going to have to try the Haldol on him tonight since the other meds aren’t working as well as they usually do. I would never have thought of a first-generation anti-psychotic as a good med for nausea, but our hospice nurse says it works wonders. I don’t want to give it to him during the day because he’s never needed to use this kind of drug and it WILL knock him out. At some point it won’t matter if he’s knocked out during the day or night, but thankfully that time has not arrived yet.

Whew…that blood-sugar drop came on fast! I don’t have them very often but when I do, it tends to fall off a cliff. I use glucose tablets or eat peanut butter and drink a regular soda to get it back up quickly. I don’t need to check it, I just know it’s low because I get shaky, irritable, sweaty, and panicky. Will has the same issue but he’s been pretty stable for the past few weeks, so I worry less (even though we still check it at 4 AM every day).

I’m afraid I’ve given in to the urge to argue politics on Facebook. Just a little. One of my friends posted something about how Republicans who oppose President Obama’s agenda do it because he’s black. Well, I’m a Republican who opposes most of Obama’s agenda, and I’m one of the least racist people I know. For me it’s NEVER been about his skin color, it’s about his liberal policies and tendency to support government intrusion into our private lives, e.g. Obamacare and gun control. I won’t go into that here because I really DON’T want to start another argument. Suffice to say that I won’t be voting for Hillary Clinton or—heaven forbid—Bernie Sanders because it would basically mean a third term for Obama. Then again, I can’t stand Donald Trump either because he is uncouth and nasty, and with his diplomatic skills he’ll get us into a war within his first six months in office if he’s elected. Mark my words.

I just found out that I like the show Blue Bloods. Will and I have been binge-watching it all week. It’s on the regular network stations but it’s always on opposite something else we watch, so we’ve been catching reruns on the Ion channel. Don’t ask me why. I just make shit up as I go along from day to day doing absolutely nothing anyone could consider productive.

And speaking of TV: Thirty-six years have come and gone, and Will has never figured out how I can sit in front of the TV with eyes glued and NOT know anything about what’s going on. That’s because my mind is constantly spinning, like a hamster on a wheel, and sometimes what’s going on in my head is more interesting than what’s on the screen. I’m talented like that. Can’t multitask, but I can sure make it look like I can. Haha!






Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

2 thoughts on “Stream Of Consciousness

  1. My mind, too, can run like a hamster on a wheel. It can be exhausting. Glad to hear that Will is not suffering too much. Sounds like he has excellent hospice care, and he has you – both a loving, devoted wife and a skilled, knowledgable nurse. Even I love you, and I’m a liberal (my husband isn’t, though).

    Liked by 1 person

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