Well, Will and I are on the move for the second time in seven months, this time to our son and son-in-law’s house, where it is presumed by all concerned that this move will be our last. They have made it abundantly clear that they want us to stay for good, and the way finances are looking, that’s exactly what we may have to do.
Let me be clear: I miss our privacy. I miss the days when we rattled around in that big old house by ourselves, spending most of the time together, sometimes in companionable silence, and often in lively discussions about all sorts of things. It was during those past two years that we finally got to be just husband and wife again, and I know we’ll both treasure those times forever. At least we got to have them, before everything went to hell in the proverbial bushel basket.
That being said, I’ve accepted the fact that we need to live with someone, and I’m looking forward to it even though I loathe the actual process of moving. We’ll be with family, and that will make it home. I’ve never felt at home here. Nothing in this house is really mine—not the decorations, not the furniture (although to be fair, our landlady offered us space for some of our stuff, and more than once too), and definitely not the feeling of belonging.
But the time here has served its purpose; I’ve had the chance to heal from that horrible depression and become stronger. Even though things are stressful right now what with Will’s cancer progressing and our having trouble obtaining his birth certificate and adoption records so we can get his passport (that’s another whole post right there), I’ve been as steady as I can possibly be. Dr. Awesomesauce did think I was mildly depressed at our last meeting and documented it in my chart, but I’m really not…just stressed and a little anxious. I know depression, and this ain’t it.
Living with Ethan and Clark should also be an interesting experience. They are not into Pride, and even though I occasionally try to get them to at least walk in a parade, they are really just two hard-working men who come home exhausted most nights and simply don’t have time for those things. But they have an amazing assortment of friends, most of whom have colorful personalities, and on the nights when they DON’T come home and flop on the sofa, they go out with these friends or have them over for drinks. Personally, I think they all drink too much, but then I’m a recovering alcoholic whose partying days are loooooong behind her, so I tend to judge other people’s drinking behavior pretty harshly. I have to watch that. After all, Ethan and Clark can have a perfectly good time without booze, and they are rarely, if ever drunk. That certainly wasn’t true of me back in the day!
Anyway, I’m once again going to be off the grid for several days, maybe even a week, so I wanted my readers to know I’m not dropping off the face of the planet. I’ll “see” you again soon. 🙂