Yes, boys and girls, that sweet spot between “blah” and “yee-HAW!” really does exist, and I have finally found it. Actually, it found me and sort of snuck in under the radar a while back, and I’m just now recognizing it for what it is: stability.
I love it here. This is where almost every mentally ill person wants to be. It’s even better than hypomania, because it’s genuine and it probably won’t cause the crash-and-burn effect like hypo/mania does. I’m not foolish enough to think it’ll last forever, but I’m sure going to enjoy it while it does. I’ve rediscovered my natural optimism, which I’d thought I’d lost forever. I wake up in the morning feeling good about the day ahead, without either being overexcited or dragging my sad, sorry carcass out of the bed. And I go to sleep at night (for the most part) without ruminating endlessly on my worries, of which there are far fewer than there were even a few months ago.
This must be what it’s like to not be bipolar. I’ve had periods of remission before, but this time I’m living in the here and now and not waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s taken a lot of time (and med changes) to get to this point, so perhaps I appreciate being in this place more than the average person…..because now I am the average person. I’m not a “mental case”, not “unwell”. I’m just me…..imperfect, quirky, rational ME. And I think I can live with that just fine. 🙂