The Games People Play

Somebody please remind me never to let my antipsychotics run out again.

Well, it wasn’t ENTIRELY my fault. The pharmacy was totally out of Geodon when I called it in for a refill, but then the next night I was up till after 1 AM thanks to my son’s late arrival home from his vacation and skipped the Zyprexa as well. I knew I’d never get up in the morning if I took it. So I gambled…..and of course I lost.

I’ve never felt crazier in my life. My head was exploding with zillions of unrelated thoughts; my focus was gone; I had a squirmy sensation like I wanted to crawl out of my skin. My emotions were all over the map—I was giddy and talking up a storm one minute, weeping hysterically the next, and then back again.

In short, it was like experiencing the whole bipolar spectrum in one day. All I could do was ride it out, take ALL my meds early (they had since been refilled) and go to bed.

I still don’t know how it is that my brain can go haywire like that after only two days without both APs, but obviously they are the glue that holds me together. I’ve always been on a short leash, but this was ridiculous! Thankfully it took only two days to get back to normal; still, the episode scared me and I’m not going to let it happen again if I can help it.

So I’ll make sure to call in my prescriptions a week ahead of time, and I’ll take my APs no matter how late I have to be up at night or how early I have to be awake in the morning. Problem solved…..I hope!

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

7 thoughts on “The Games People Play

  1. Once I forgot to take my morning meds. By three I was getting these weird shooting zaps and thought I was having a stroke. Then I felt sort of out of body. I finally figured it out, duh, and took them.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Antipsychotics are amazing how quickly they can achieve results (in some of us). I’m not on any now, but they have helped me in the past – both old school and new atypical – to stop mania and mixed states and rapid cycling.

        Liked by 1 person

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