Farewell, Dr. Awesomesauce?

Yes, that’s right—thanks to my new status as a lowly Medicaid patient, it looks like I’m going to have to get all my mental health care from the county. To say I’m sick about it is an understatement; Dr. Awesomesauce has seen me through crisis after crisis and been my port in the storm that is my life with bipolar disorder. Whatever will I do without him?

From what the paperwork says, I can appeal by talking to the powers that be, and of course I will because I’ve been working with the man for three years and needed some pretty intensive management for most of that time. I’m also in the middle of a Social Security disability case and don’t want to change horses in mid-stream. Maybe it will be enough to tip the scales in my favor and maybe not, but it’s the only chance I have of hanging onto my doctor.

Of course, I could stay with him if I could afford to pay for sessions myself, but if that were the case we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. So unless I can convince the bureaucrats of the necessity of maintaining the status quo, I’m SOL. And that makes me incredibly sad.

Everyone who reads this blog know what Dr. A has meant to me. He literally saved my life last fall, and I can’t even imagine it without his guidance, wisdom, humor, and nagging. I wonder how I’ll fare without a regular psychiatrist who knows me like he does. I’m pretty high-maintenance and my treatment is tricky. It’s taken three years and a zillion adjustments to get to where I am now—dear God, what if they want to mess with my meds?

I think what I’ll do is keep my appointment in May; there needs to be good-byes and a sense of closure. In the meantime I’m going to try to get used to the idea of handling yet another major upheaval in my life; I guess I got too long of a break from the festivities and have to suffer for it. Crap.

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

6 thoughts on “Farewell, Dr. Awesomesauce?

  1. Okay, I am on better internet. This sucks.I just switched on March 1st from United Healthcare to Medicare because I am on disability. But guess what? This Medicare is administered by United Healthcare so everyone takes it. I was afraid someone would ask me why the hell I was so young and on Medicare. I hate all of this shit. I know you love your doctor, but I will say this. I had a therapist for 18 years. He died suddenly. I loved this guy and he knew all of my manic secrets. So I switch to this woman, fully expecting to hate her and she turned out to be wonderful. Have some hope. You are settled into a med routine and are”stable” right now. At least you are not in crisis mode and looking for someone new. Maybe your doc has a good recommendation. Thinking of you as always. lily

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I agree with Lilypup think of this as a temporary and very possible new good strong path. Once you have your SS Disability in time you will qualify for Medicare and if Dr. Awesomesauce takes Medicare insurance you can go back to him. That’s how it worked for me and I got several new doc that are great but went back to some former ones too.

    Liked by 1 person

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