Coming Out Bipolar…..Again

Well, I’ve let the proverbial cat out of the bag with my new landlady, and it’s all good. The revelation came out of a discussion about where I’m at with my application for disability, which is probably somewhere between batches of paperwork.

She wasn’t shocked or horrified. She has a friend who is bipolar, so she’s at least somewhat familiar with the disorder. I told her I wasn’t really “crazy”, but I did have to be hospitalized once for depression and I tend to get loud and bounce off the walls when I’m manic.

Now, realistically she would find out anyway when my next mood episode occurs. I can get away with depression for quite a while, but I can’t hide the mania and lately it’s been testing the waters. We’ve had some nice springlike weather the past few days, and it’s made me yearn for the real thing, and for just a touch of hypomania. I crave that rush of energy and optimism…..but I know I need stability much more.

And truth be told, I know I’m an odd little duck and I wanted ” Lisa” to understand why. I also think a second set of eyes might be of some use in case I get screw-loosey again. I certainly don’t expect her to watch over me the way Will does, but she’s an alpha female who rides a motorcycle and is not as easily intimidated as Will is sometimes. So if she ever asks me if I’m OK, it will probably be because I’m NOT.

I’m glad to have that conversation over with. I’m not good at pretending to be someone I’m not, and it’s a relief to have everything out in the open. Now I can relax and get settled in for real. 🙂

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

5 thoughts on “Coming Out Bipolar…..Again

  1. Good for you. Since I started disclosing, I’ve not had any negative experiences that I know of. However, I did not disclose at work. I usually start off by telling people I have depression, which everyone nowadays understands. Then I work into the bipolar. But my down times are much more prominent than my mania. It’s just so freeing not to hide,and at my age, who cares?

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  2. I think it’s really important to talk about it as if it’s “normal”. Only once we “normalize” the prevalence of bipolar disorder and all its facets will others accept it. The more we internalize it as if we’re to blame, the more reason others have to shame us. Easier said than done, and it takes balls but it’s gotta be done. Happy weekend to you 🙂

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