Well, I’ve let the proverbial cat out of the bag with my new landlady, and it’s all good. The revelation came out of a discussion about where I’m at with my application for disability, which is probably somewhere between batches of paperwork.
She wasn’t shocked or horrified. She has a friend who is bipolar, so she’s at least somewhat familiar with the disorder. I told her I wasn’t really “crazy”, but I did have to be hospitalized once for depression and I tend to get loud and bounce off the walls when I’m manic.
Now, realistically she would find out anyway when my next mood episode occurs. I can get away with depression for quite a while, but I can’t hide the mania and lately it’s been testing the waters. We’ve had some nice springlike weather the past few days, and it’s made me yearn for the real thing, and for just a touch of hypomania. I crave that rush of energy and optimism…..but I know I need stability much more.
And truth be told, I know I’m an odd little duck and I wanted ” Lisa” to understand why. I also think a second set of eyes might be of some use in case I get screw-loosey again. I certainly don’t expect her to watch over me the way Will does, but she’s an alpha female who rides a motorcycle and is not as easily intimidated as Will is sometimes. So if she ever asks me if I’m OK, it will probably be because I’m NOT.
I’m glad to have that conversation over with. I’m not good at pretending to be someone I’m not, and it’s a relief to have everything out in the open. Now I can relax and get settled in for real. 🙂