What Are You Smoking, Doc?

I swear, sometimes I wonder what the hell Dr. Awesomesauce is smoking when we have our sessions. This was a particularly positive visit, not only because not only did Will and I find a place to live and get settled in, but I’m well and, for the most part, reasonably content. OK, maybe I was a little effusive in my comments on our improved circumstances, but in the context of escaping homelessness, I thought it entirely appropriate.

So I went to check my online chart for any new remarks a couple of days later, and what did I see as the reason for the encounter? Manic behavior. MANIC BEHAVIOR??! What the F? I haven’t even been hypomanic since last spring. Where on earth did he get the idea that I was even a tiny bit manic?

At any rate, we’re not changing the magic med formula until the summer, because winter sucks and spring is when I tend to go totally ape shit. It would be great to reduce the medication burden somewhat, but I’m not holding my breath for it. No bipolar can plan that far out because we don’t know how we’re going to feel in six DAYS, let alone six months.

So it seemed odd for Dr. A to mention “manic behavior” in his summary when all I was doing was sharing my joy at the turnabout in my fortunes. He even advised me that he’d leave me on my increased dose of Celexa until summer as long as I didn’t buy another neon toucan shirt. And if I did, I’d damned well better call him.

Oh well. Maybe he saw something I didn’t, which tends to be the case with me and mania. But I don’t feel at all manic, and even better, I’m not depressed any more. It’s about time!

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

8 thoughts on “What Are You Smoking, Doc?

    1. re my previous psychiatrist. He would think me manic if I was wearing makeup and/or a brightly colored (even PLAIN!) shirt… my defense was to dress as if I was slightly depressed and go easy on the makeup, haha! When he made an assessment re clothing he was usually wrong. In fact when I wore the makeup and the brighter shirts I was trying to MAKE myself feel less depressed lol

      Liked by 2 people

  1. Sounds like you were happy and relieved, but to play devil’s advocate, moving can destabilize and trigger mood cycling. Take extra care of yourself as you recuperate from the physical and emotional work you’ve done recently in making such a big change. Congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

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