It’s A Mystery

…..the fact that I haven’t received a bill from Dr. Awesomesauce’s office since last fall.

I’m afraid to ask. I don’t want to jinx myself. But with the exception of the months I had insurance—and not even then—I haven’t been asked for co-pays, nor have I seen anything from the mental health clinic’s business office as to how much I owe. It doesn’t even show up under my account number on the patient portal, where all the other bills are listed. It’s like I’ve never even been there.

Last summer I signed up for a payment plan that took $25 a month out of my bank account to pay my past-due balance; but that lasted only a couple of months. For some reason they stopped taking out the payments, and I haven’t heard a word since. Funny, because I owe over a hundred grand to the health system of which Dr. A is a part, but the fees for his services aren’t included.

I don’t get it. At just over $400 per visit (for some reason I’m considered a complex patient), I’m sure the damage is well into the $10,000 range…..why am I not Public Enemy #1 on their list of delinquent accounts? Like I said, it’s a mystery, and I’m afraid that one of these days they’re going to realize their mistake and cut me off at the knees, although Dr. A himself knows I’m dirt poor and can’t afford to park my butt on his sofa, let alone enjoy a full hour of therapy. Nobody gets free care, unless you’re like Will and have a horrid disease that threatens to take you out at any time, AND you don’t qualify for Medicare or Medicaid.

Now that I’ve put this out there, I’m probably going to get a bill. And as much as I hate to admit it, I think I’ll almost be relieved.