This has been a really, really good day. I haven’t done a single constructive thing, but the sun is shining, it’s not too hot, and I’m in this super good mood. Despite the fact that I still don’t have a job and money is nonexistent after we paid the phone bill with our garage-sale profits, laughter has come more easily today than it has in a long time, and I think it has a lot to do with Will’s recent explosion of cheerfulness, which is apparently infectious.
I don’t know what’s gotten into him, but I’m sure enjoying it. He’s been playful lately, even to the point of tickling me in the grocery store and making me giggle. It’s obvious he feels healthy, and on days like today it almost seems like he’s going to live forever. What a difference from a year ago!
The weather has been spectacular as well, reminding me of why I love this time of year so much. The skies are a brilliant sapphire blue, the breeze is soft and carries the aroma of freshly cut hay on its wings. The temperature is perfection itself—today it’s 86 degrees—and according to the weather report, nothing but continued perfection is on the horizon for the foreseeable future…..endless days of warmth and sunshine and sweet, sweet summertime.
This is what I live for all year long, what I yearn for when it’s been forty degrees and raining for weeks on end. Summer is worth all the crappy weather we have to put up for nine months out of the year, with an average high of 84 degrees. We’ve been pretty hot this summer, with a good number of days with temps in the 90s, but we’ve only reached the century mark once and…..wait a minute, you’re not reading this blog to find out what wonderful summers we have here in Oregon. You’re reading it (presumably) because you either know me or because you’re interested in how I live my life as a person with bipolar disorder.
Know what I hate? Having to do a gut-check anytime my mood changes abruptly. I can’t just have a really, really good day without asking myself if I’m ramping up. I don’t think I am, but then I NEVER think I am, so the fact that I’m asking myself that question means I’m probably just fine. It’s when I don’t do that gut-check that I run into trouble.
I’m still amazed that I haven’t been manic at all this summer. I’m sure that’s made life easier for the people around me, but more than that, it’s made it possible for me to deal with our current circumstances without going totally ape shit, It’s bad enough that I’m having trouble focusing on a job search, while simultaneously trying to empty out our house and figure out what to do about moving when I’m going to run out of unemployment benefits in another 10 weeks or so. But by gum, I’m in my right mind while I’m doing it!
Yes, today has been a really, REALLY good day. Even though the outside world seems to be coming apart and my own situation still sucks, I’m hoping tomorrow will be even better. 🙂