The Med-Go-Round

After carefully weighing the pros and cons, I’ve decided to start my Zyprexa dose reduction a couple of weeks early. It’s a good time to try it; after all, I’ve remained stable despite the negativity that’s been thrown at me lately and the fact that a) I’m as poor as Job’s turkey, and b) I’m not getting anywhere in my job search. My outlook is good, I’m not horribly anxious, and I’m sleeping like a ROCK.

Part of the desire to cut back has to do with exactly that: I’m not just sleeping well, I’m sleeping too much, and thus I lack motivation to get up early and hit the ground running. I’m sticking to the script and going to bed by 11:30 each night, but getting up in the morning by 8 is all but impossible because I’m too dopey to make sense of the world. I take the pills around 9 PM, but even if I get them in as early as 8:30, I still sleep too late in the morning and I’m sluggish till about 10. My normal amount of sleep is in the neighborhood of seven hours a night, but since I haven’t been working I’m averaging over eight hours. Too much!

And it’s not that I can’t get my butt in gear, it’s merely that my ignition switch doesn’t work right and I really have to jiggle it hard to make the engine turn over. This has gotten old, and I’m growing impatient with my insufficient get-up-and-go. Again, this is what happens when I sleep too many hours, and until I cut down on the Vitamin Z, I don’t see much of a chance that it will improve.

So what gives me pause? For one thing…..summer will be here within the week. We’re not expecting a heat wave anytime soon, but the first hot spell does tends to spark mania. However, even with the reduction I’ll still be very well-medicated, and the risk seems pretty low given the fact that I’ll be doing it the way Dr. Awesomesauce instructed me (cut the dose by 1.25 mg). And if things were to go sideways, I could always put myself back on the original dose. I have the discretion to do that if necessary.

The other thing is, of course, that dose reductions are scary when you’re the kind of person who’d rather not fix what isn’t broken. This combination of meds has kept me sane and on a relatively even keel for several months, and I’m a little nervous about messing with it even in a small way. On the other hand, it is a VERY tiny decrease, Dr. A does want me to attempt it, and this is as good a time as any—I’m certainly not doing anything useful at the moment, so if the shit did hit the fan it wouldn’t endanger a new job.

But I don’t think such a small change is going to hurt. In fact, I have the feeling it’ll help me with the sleep issue without making me unstable. And I’m NOT going to reduce the dose any further without an OK from Dr. A, whom I won’t even see till early August, which means I’d have to call for permission to do so. Y’all know how much I hate to bug him—almost as much as I hate to disappoint him—so there won’t be any more tinkering till my appointment.

Wish me luck!

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

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