This was life before Zyprexa……
……and here’s life since Zyprexa.
Looks different, doesn’t it? This is the mood chart from Psych Central that I use daily in addition to Optimism Online. I do this one because I visit the site daily anyway, and sometimes it picks up the subtler changes that Optimism doesn’t. But no matter which chart is the best in a given situation, one would have to be blind not to see that the first screenshot looks like a bad road map of California, and the second looks mostly like a long stretch of interstate highway. It may not be as exciting, but in my experience the ride on a smooth, straight road is always better….not only for me, but for everyone around me.
The pinkish-gray line represents my anxiety levels (there’s always some of that hanging around, even on my best days), the blue represents depressed mood, the green is for sleep, and the yellow, mania. As you can see, the anxiety was out of control, sleep was iffy, and the term “manic depression” is obvious in the yellow and blue tracings.
I don’t want to make that trip again, even though I’ve learned to my sorrow that it’s as inevitable as the tide and the best I can hope for is longer and longer periods where the lines converge. For now it’s enough just to see them grow straighter, and to know that even the hardest, bumpiest road has an end. 🙂