…….that’s what I’ve come to call this insane urge to chow down on everything I can get my hands on. Thank God I only have to be on the stuff for another week and a half! It’s doing a great job of bringing me back in touch with reality and flattening out my emotions (a good thing when your 25-year-old son has just drop-kicked you into the middle of next week), but oh, what it does to my appetite…
I’ve spent the last year losing sixty pounds. Obviously, I do not want to gain them back, not only because I’m still hugely overweight but because they always bring friends! Granted, three weeks on Z does not a catastrophic weight gain make, but I can practically see my stomach bloat and my double chin become a triple. (Meanwhile, I’m wolfing down a handful of Cheez-Its as I write this.) Most of the time, I eat only when I’m hungry and I stop when I’m full, and I don’t snack much anymore. But it doesn’t take very many days of Zyprexa to turn me into the Cookie Monster.
The other medication that does this to me is prednisone, which I have to take on rare occasions to knock down an extended asthma attack; and since that one also has the lovely property of making me manic, I have to be nearing asphyxiation before I’ll take it. Both prednisone and Zyprexa have been known to put 25 pounds on me within six weeks, so if I can keep it to less than ten pounds this time, I’ll count myself lucky.
But right now, I am not optimistic. I had a great dinner at my daughter’s house this evening: lemon chicken with salad, potatoes, and French bread topped off with brownies for dessert. Normally a meal like that fills me up until after noon the next day, but what am I doing right now but snarfing crackers like someone who just smoked a bowl full of wacky weed?
At least I have to go to bed soon, which will prevent me from polishing off the box. I am NOT happy with this bedtime business; already my rebellious nature is pushing the limits and last night it was 11:35 before I was officially in bed. (Everyone else seems to think it’s a wonderful thing though, even if a couple of them have accused me of cheating because WordPress runs on Greenwich Mean Time rather than Pacific Standard.) I don’t like it because a) it messes with my nocturnal activities, like writing and hanging out on Facebook, and b) I feel ridiculous having a bedtime, period.
But even I have to admit that it’ll probably be a good thing in the long run……if I ever get used to it, that is. I’ve been doing things my way for the past 37 years, but as someone said to me the other day, “Yeah, well, how’s that working for you?” Guess we all know the answer to that one.
Shoot. 11:00 PM already. Guess I’d better go do what I’m supposed to do……sigh……but first, let me finish these Pecan Sandies. CHOMP!!