You Might Be Hypomanic If……

(With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)

If you’re on five different medications for bipolar disorder and you get to thinking that the diagnosis is wrong……..you might be hypomanic.

If you buy a neon yellow tank top with a ginormous neon toucan splashed all over it…..you might be hypomanic.

If you can’t understand why your spouse is angry and embarrassed when you’re out to dinner and the credit card is declined…….you might be hypomanic.

If you think it’s a groovy idea to play a trick on your psychiatrist that makes him think you’re hypomanic……you might be hypomanic.

If you’re at a party and your friends remind you that you’ve told that same story three times already, you might be hypomanic.

If you get upset because none of your online friends are up at 4 AM……you might be hypomanic.

If all the colors taste good and all the flavors are in Technicolor……you might be hypomanic.

If you’ve been pressure-washing the porch for four hours straight……you might be hypomanic.

If you’re wiggling around and tapping your feet to the music that’s playing only in your head…….you might be hypomanic.

If you’re at a party and your friends remind you—again—that you’ve told that same story three times already…….you might be hypomanic. Or demented. Or both.

If you’re having the BESTEST DAY EVER!!! and you’re in love with THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD and you find yourself proclaiming your unappeasable joy by TYPING EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS…….you are definitely hypomanic.

If you’re pulled over for speeding, and the officer lets you go rather than listen to you tell him your entire life story beginning with your mother’s crash C-section……go home and call your doctor, because you have passed through hypomanic territory and are headed straight for Batshitsylvania! 🙂