The Morning After

For once, I did exactly what I said I was going to do, and went back on the full dose of Geodon last night. I slept long and deep, and I woke up this morning back on Planet Earth, if a little dazed and disheveled. Thank God.

Funny how one little, teeny, tiny pill can change absolutely EVERYTHING. I already feel like I’m nearly back to normal, and certainly will be within the next day or so. I do feel rather drained, as if I’m getting over some short but intense illness, and have spent most of the day lounging in the recliner. But considering the sheer energy it took to be that agitated and to stay awake long into the wee hours for several days running, it’s no wonder I feel like I’ve been “rode hard and put up wet”.

The jury is out on what my p-doc will say when I tell him what I attempted to do. Of course, with my luck he’ll fix me with this certain expression of his that never fails to make me confess to stuff I had NO intention of sharing, and I’ll probably blurt out something like “Bless me Doctor, for I have sinned”. But I already realize how reckless and foolish it was, and I marvel at how fortunate I am to have friends and family who are quick to notice the changes and help me understand where I’ve gone off track.

As one of these friends reminded me today, I’m still relatively new to this diagnosis and the medications used to treat it (even though it sure doesn’t feel like it!), and I’ve got no business futzing with ANYTHING until I’ve actually discussed it with the fellow who prescribes ’em for me.

So all’s well that ends well. I just hope somebody slaps the stupid out of me the next time I even TALK about messing with my crazy pills!

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

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