You Know You’re Bipolar When…..

…..You think that your spouse is being ridiculous when he demands to know why you’re rearranging the sock drawer. At two-thirty in the morning.

…..You can’t imagine why your BFF isn’t amused when you phone her in the middle of the night to debate the merits (or lack thereof) of Obamacare.

…..You sit on the edge of your bed till the wee hours, staring into the dark and letting one leg swing back and forth, back and forth, like a pendulum. Like your moods.

…..Nobody can figure out if you’re serious, or sarcastic, or ticked off…because you can be all three within the space of five minutes.

…..You laugh hysterically while watching Andy Dick pose as Zorro on Dancing with the Stars, then find yourself sobbing over a dog-food commercial two minutes later.

…..Your mood chart resembles an abnormal EKG tracing.

…..All of your friends can spot an impending mood swing three days before you do.

…..Half the names in your day-planner have “MD” behind them.

…..You call your AM meds “Breakfast of Champions” and your PMs “Handful of Sanity”.

…..Your psychiatrist is on speed dial, right behind your spouse and ahead of the closest pizza joint.

…..You wonder why people sometimes look at you like you’re crazy, when in fact, you are.

…..You catch a head cold and someone warns you to bundle up, saying that you’re going to get pneumonia and die—and you ask, “When?”

…..It seems perfectly normal to pressure-wash the front porch for four hours.

…..You actually LIKE being hypomanic and wish you could stay that way for the rest of your life.

…..Quitting your job, moving to Bora Bora, and living in one of those little stick houses out in the shallow part of the ocean seems like a logical idea.

…..You haven’t a clue why people are staring at you as you pull up to a traffic signal with the radio turned up full blast, drumming on the steering wheel and singing Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On a Prayer” at the top of your lungs.

…..You write a letter to the CEO of a company, criticizing them for their latest advertising slogan, because you’re offended at their offhand use of the term “crazy”.

…..You get angry because the CEO isn’t as outraged as you are.

…..You use a Grumpy Cat avatar that says “Yeah I’m Bipolar, But Right Now, I’m Just Pissed Off. Learn the Difference!”

…..You have completely different sets of clothing for each mood.

…..Stuff like this cracks you up because you can identify with pretty much everything on the list!

Published by bpnurse

I'm a retired registered nurse and writer who also happens to be street-rat crazy, if the DSM-IV.....oops, 5---is to be believed. I was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder at the age of 55, and am still sorting through the ashes of the flaming garbage pile that my life had become. Here, I'll share the lumps and bumps of a late-life journey toward sanity.... along with some rants, gripes, sour grapes and good old-fashioned whining from time to time. It's not easy being bipolar in a unipolar world; let's figure it out together.

2 thoughts on “You Know You’re Bipolar When…..

  1. Bora Bora, I’ll have to look into that…for me it’s always been a buddhist monastery in India (that fact that I am not buddhist has never seemed to be a problem with this plan).

    Also, I still claim I am the one who got that stupid Donald Trump fired from the T-Mobile…or was it Verizon…ads. I just remember he was in them, and I emailed the company informing them I already have very little respect for them, and having him in their commercials takes away what little respect I do have. I got a response saying the email was being forwarded to the proper department and I never saw him in another ad (doubt this was a coincidence caused by his busy schedule with Apprentice, and the hours a day he spends on wig maintenance.


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